Heide Park

17 August 2018

Once again jumping on a Flix bus, the journey to Heide Park took about an hour.

Terror and I were very excited about not spending the day in lines, as we had splurged on the $220 VIP package. This included use of an Express Butler (virtual queueing system) which could be used on all of the good rides at the park. The package also consisted of an unlimited food, and a ride photo package. We hadn’t bought many ride photos by this point, so were looking forward to trying out some stupid faces and interesting story lines for the camera. We thought this was a better use of our money than the onsite accommodation, which was typically very expensive in Germany.

We didn’t get off to a great start, waiting for about half an hour in guest services for a staff member to be available, just to take us through the VIP package inclusions. We had skipped breakfast with the intention of using the food pass to grab a bagel at the park, but were informed that the unlimited food voucher was actually one ‘all you can eat’ meal. As such we decided to save it for later in the day.

Promoted as the largest amusement park in Northern Germany, we had our comfortable shoes on, and made our way to the first ride of the day in the Pirate Bay zone, Krake.

This dive coaster looked great, with tentacles coming out of the ground attempting to drag it under. It was Terror’s first time on a dive coaster, so I was pretty excited to see her reaction. It was on par with Oblivion from Alton Towers for me. Similar thrill, similar laughs, similar short track. We had quite a few turns on Krake throughout the day, as it was a smooth and reliable ride – a good addition to the park!

With our Express Butler buzzing at us, we made our way to Transsilvanien to skip the small queue at Flug der Damonen (flight of the demon). Germany’s first wing coaster was very similar to The Swarm at Thorpe Park, so I knew it was going to be good!

I really do love the freedom of the wing seats, and the twists and turns of the track did not disappoint.

While in the area, we also went on the drop tower called Scream, as well as a kiddie version called Screamie, which was better than it looked! We laughed a lot with the multiple rises and falls, particularly at the looks on parents’ faces who thought they were taking their 5 year olds on an uneventful ride.

Transsilvanien also hosted a fun bob sledding ride called Bobahn. We had a solo turn each, before combining our forces to get a rather inappropriate photo. The poor sales attendant didn’t know what to think when she printed the picture out for us. I am also not sure what Terror’s fiancé thought, but at least he has a good sense of humour!

We wandered in to the back section of the park which hosted two steel coasters, Limit and Big Loop. These kind of sat between the different ‘lands’, so there was no atmosphere or buzz at all. Nonetheless, Limit was a fun suspended looping coaster. It surprised me that the queue area was very ordinary, with no apparent theming, because the coaster only opened in 1999.

Big Loop opened in 1983, and damn it showed! This was probably the most painful ride I have been on in a long time. I did not enjoy it at all, and spent the entire time hanging on to the harness and using my core to try and stop my head from smashing in to the sides. The language coming out of our mouths indicated that Terror felt the same way as I did.

This ride really needs to get bulldozed for something modern. You could actually revamp the whole area with a couple of new rides and shows. We needed some down time afterwards, so found a nice little playground to relax at, which had some conveyor-belt like slides that massaged your backside nicely as you went down. You know a coaster is bad when the slippery slide is more fun…

We wandered through the land of the forgotten (Land der Vergessenen), but had not forgotten the fact that a beast of a wooden rollercoaster was standing there closed.

We knew Colossus would be closed for maintenance while we were in Germany, but felt that Heide Park had other good attractions to make the trip worthwhile. Still, it is always with a heavy heart to see these masterpieces out of action. Apparently it is reopening in 2019 after over 10 million Euro worth of repairs. There wasn’t a much else of interest in this land, so we skipped in to the Wild West area instead.

We rode the kiddy mine style coaster Grottenblitz (see photo for our feelings on this one), before spending over an hour riding and re-riding Desert Race.

This fast launch flat track coaster (with a few small airtime hills) was entertaining. With Colossus closed, Desert Race was the only Intamin attraction in operation, and the fastest coaster at the park at just over 100km/hr. Multiple rides also allowed us to try out many different photo poses before we got our favourites printed.

We opted for a late lunch, heading to Mamma Rosas Pizza and Pasta as the designated restaurant at which to use our all you can eat voucher. While we are normally grazers, we made a valiant effort to shove our faces with as much food as we could to get our money’s worth. With coaster headaches still lingering, we didn’t have much of an appetite, and were disappointed with our attempts. It was nice to sit down for a while though, and as a few rain showers swept past, we downed a couple of soft drinks before finishing off the rest of the park.

We lined up for the 5D Ghostbusters ride, which was an indoor shooting style attraction. It broke down though and was taking ages to get restarted.

So we left and killed time in the ‘How to train your dragon’ area. We went on the Himmelssturmer, which was like a lying down chair-o-plane, before returning to Ghostbusters. It was not worth the effort, and I still have no idea how the 5th dimension comes in to it.

By this point we were getting really tired, evident when our English brains started finding the German names of rides amusing. Flossfahrt, Opa Pigs zugfahrt, Peppa bootsfahrt, Herr Fuchs Laden – all of these produced childish smirks and giggles. We decided not to go on the last of the coasters (Indy Blitz) as the kiddy track didn’t look like it was worth the effort. Instead we opted for another loop of the entire park to re-ride our favourites.

 

We had been so lucky with the weather to this point, that it didn’t bother us that there were a few showers around. It probably helped to keep the crowds down, because the park was pretty quiet. As it turns out, we didn’t really need the Express Butler, because the lines were not very long for anything. As usual, you can only reserve one ride at a time too, so you do find yourself waiting for every second ride.

Heide Park shared lots of similarities with Thorpe Park UK in terms of rides, branding and signage. Both parks lack a bit of atmosphere too, as they seem a bit confused about their theming, entertainment and target demographic. This should not have surprised me, as both parks are part of Merlin Entertainment.

Another similarity was the weird cloaking systems for bags and loose articles. For example, on one of the coasters we arrived at the ride entrance thinking the storage area would be there. Wrong! We had to walk back around to the ride exit in the shop to find the lockers, then walk all the way around to the front of the ride queue again. Thankfully, the service, staff and ride loading times of Heide Park were far superior to Thorpe Park, but not as excellent as Alton Towers which is also a Merlin owned park in the UK. Terror and I felt that Heide Park was worth the trip with a couple of great thrill rides enough to entice us. Had Colossus been opened I am sure our experience would have been twice as good.

After Heide Park, Terror and I were taking a few days off from rollercoasters, so that we could enjoy some touristy sight seeing in Berlin. I think I am losing my touch, because I was actually looking forward to having some time away from the fun parks…