Europa Park

20 August 2018

After Berlin, we flew back to Frankfurt and picked up a hire car. My not so secret shame is that I can’t drive a manual, so Terror took the reigns and flew down the autobahn to Offenberg. Revelling in driving 160km/hr, my navigation skills failed to keep up. After taking the wrong exits off the roundabout near the hotel (twice), we finally made it to the Mercure for a long overdue sleep.

Early the next morning, we drove the 30 minutes to Europa Park. Be prepared readers, this is a long blog entry, but Europa is the place to go!

Our excitement was bursting through the roof as we neared the biggest park in Germany, and the second busiest in all of Europe (after Disneyland Paris). Owned and operated by the Mack family (let’s take a moment to be thankful they were born and had a sense of fun), we were looking forward to seeing the best that Mack Rides had to offer, as apparently Europa is somewhat of a showcase of their rides for potential buyers. There are currently only three Mack rides in Australia (the old Scooby-Doo, the overrated Storm Coaster and the wonderful new DC Rivals), so we were thrilled to be trying out some new models of coasters.

Only a few months earlier, a fire had broken out which destroyed the Pirates of Batavia ride and damaged the Scandinavian and Netherlands areas. We knew that those places were still closed, but we were just so grateful that no humans or rollercoasters lost their lives.

Although the Germans were no longer on school holidays, the French and the Swiss were. And as Europa sat right on the border of all three countries, and you couldn’t buy any fast passes, we knew we were in a for a busy day!

With our first theme park pay parking experience complete, we hiked through a gigantic parking lot to the front gates (insert Itchy and Scratchy parking lot jokes here), where we tried to work out where the hell to go first. Europa is deceptively big with a huge amount of attractions filling every available space, and although it is not nearly as big as some of the parks in the US and Asia, it certainly felt like it by the end of the day.

The park was divided in to 18 different areas (yes 18) named after European countries or regions. I don’t envy the owners who had to justify which countries to include and leave out. Imagine the international diplomatic incidents they could start! There were a couple of good-looking coasters in Iceland, so we jumped on the Europa Park (EP) Express monorail and headed to the right side of the park. Here we met up with one of the loveliest German ladies I know (Katrin) and another of her friends. So with our group of four, we went straight to the wooden giant of the park, Wodan!

Wodan was everything we had hoped for and more. A cracker of a coaster with excellent drops, turns and airtime, maintaining a good level of bumpiness for a wooden track, without being damaging to your neck and head. Interestingly, Wodan is one of only two coasters at the park not made by Mack. I can forgive them, because Wodan was a stunning inclusion.

Still in Iceland, we headed to the Blue Fire Megacoaster, a fast launch steel coaster that was themed around power and energy (I think…).

This was a really enjoyable ride, and the little museum-like exhibition at the entry point was a nice touch. Who said coasters can’t be fun AND educational? The load time was excellent, and I enjoyed the slow-moving dark ride experience as the coaster made its way to the launch section of the track, where you were shot out at 100km/hr. This was the first inverted/looped track at Europa and was a great choice to add even more variety. One of the reasons I loved Europa so much, is that no two coasters were alike!

The second country we visited was Portugal, making the call to line up for the flume ride to get out of the heat for a bit. Atlantica Super Splash was actually really good for a flume ride, with excellent theming, and good views of the park as you lined up past various gaps in the walls etc. Although this was the only ride we experienced in Portugal, we did return later in the day to catch a bit of the diving show.

I thought it was kind of odd that Luxembourg was included, as it is such a teeny tiny country. However, most of my thoughts about European geography and politics is as a result of decades of watching Eurovision, so what the hell do I know? Most of the country seemed to be taken up by a giant preview centre, advertising a giant waterpark (Rulantica) and hotel area which was scheduled to open in 2019. As a musical tragic, I was disappointed that we did not have the time to see Rulantica the musical, but the coasters took priority.

We skipped over to Russia next, for a very cool looking space themed coaster called Euro-Mir. I was hoping for some animatronics and theming displaying the Russian desire to beat the Americans into space, but I guess the owners thought better of it. The queue was a bit soul destroying, and to make it worse, a group of adult men jumped the queue in front of us and about 100 other people. I was annoyed that I didn’t know any German swear words, but used the bitchiest facial expressions that I knew how to make.

Once we finally jumped in to the circular trains, Euro-Mir was a hilarious little high-speed spinning coaster with pumping techno music to keep you entertained. Terror was coping pretty well with the spinning as you went round and round through the internal section of the ride, rising to the top level. From there, you could appreciate the beauty of the design, as you went flying around several giant towers, laughing at the looks on riders’ faces in the reflective glass panels. We could not bring ourselves to line up again which was a shame, because the coaster really does deserve three of four good turns!

Next stop Greece! Even though the Pegasus family coaster looked pretty lame, we were suckered in by the lure of riding a mythical beast. I suspect this was one of Mack’s early attempts at a coaster, and its only values lies in its status as an historical relic. Edit: I just looked it up and the coaster opened in 2006 – it is kind of new. What the hell Mack?!

The high-speed water coaster Poseidon was a lot more fun. 70km/hr seemed pretty excellent for a water coaster, and the ancient Greece theming and soundtrack were wonderful. Normally I don’t pay much attention to the theming, but it was just done so well throughout Europa it was hard to ignore! The ride went for around five minutes, so the wait seemed a bit more justified. Oi Sea World Australia, why couldn’t we get this one instead of Storm Coaster??

Our final stop in Greece was a ride that we were about to skip, because it didn’t seem very interesting and I thought it might have been like a traditional boring 4D experience. Katrin convinced us to give it a go though, and I am so glad we didn’t miss it! I had never been on anything like Cassandra’s Curse before. Sitting down in a small indoor theatre, I wasn’t quite sure whether the ride was moving, whether the walls were spinning around me, or both. Known as an indoor illusion ride, I will never forget the novelty of this one!

In Switzerland we lined up for way too long for the Matterhorn blitz (crazy mouse style coaster), but were somewhat entertained by the props in the swiss farmhouse themed queue area.

After going on a bob run ride at Heide Park, the Swiss Bob Run wasn’t much of a surprise, but was still enjoyable.

I think my favourite part of Switzerland was the Lindt chocolate shop. They had some flavours that I hadn’t come across in Australia, such as mango and champagne. I credit Lindt with getting me through the next few coaster queues. Thank you dear chocolate makers.

In France, we were disappointed that the new attractions scheduled to open in Summer 2018 had not yet opened. Eurosat Can Can was an indoor coaster housed inside a giant golf ball like structure, which by all accounts seemed like a good alternative to Space Mountain. This was an older coaster, but had closed to install a new track and to add VR capacity. Nevermind, the best coaster in the park was just around the corner!

Silver Star hypercoaster brought back a lot of memories of epic rides like Goliath, Millennium Force and Shambhala. Europe’s third highest and fifth fastest coaster was truly excellent, and it was the only ride in which Katrin looked a little scared. The rest of us were laughing in a very unsupportive manner.

Silver Star was the second non-Mack coaster at the park. It must be a little kick in the teeth to have the best two coasters at a Mack park (Silver Star and Wodan), not actually be made by Mack. We didn’t hold it against them though, as we lined up twice for each.

The first lift hill seemed to take ages, which meant onehelluva first drop. The modern lap bars always provide an element of fear, as you are not 100% sure on whether or not you will fall out. While I love fast launch coasters, I also have a soft spot for classic breathtaking drops where the lack of harness means you have great freedom of movement. The track seemed to shoot out across the carpark and keep on going.

 

It was quite a linear journey over the camel backs, until a 180 turn sent you back the other way for more even hills. If fast passes were available, I would have paid hundreds just to skip the queue on this one all day. I knew I would get a ride photo with Silver Star as it was my favourite coaster of the day. With only two turns though, I didn’t have a lot of time to practice, and so my ‘teeth brushing’ picture didn’t quite work out thanks to having my arm in the wrong spot. Better luck next time.

We made a quick stop to have some lunch and watch the fountain show, which looked a little piddly compared to the ones at Disney and Ocean Park etc. Good try little fountains, good try. We had to keep moving as the day was half over, yet we hadn’t even reached half of the countries yet.

We nearly bypassed Italy, but decided to try out the Geisterschloss (Ghost castle). This type of indoor ride seemed to be quite common in Germany. Your little carriage would spin across the track laid in to the concrete floor as you ‘toured’ the rooms of Disney’s Haunted Mansion, I mean, Italy’s Ghost Castle… Yes it was boring, no it wasn’t worth the wait, yes we laughed at some of the computer glitches inside.

By this point we were near the front of the park again, which was of course Germany! You would think that the owners might make Germany the most spectacular land of all, but I guess they are not narcissistic, and so Germany is one of the tamest areas. We really enjoyed the biggest flight motion simulator in Europe, Voletarium.

This flying theatre style attraction seems to be taking off around the world, with the first one in Australia (Dreamworld) currently experiencing a lot of delays prior to opening. Voletarium was well themed which made the queue more bearable, and it was nice to be able to sit down on the ride in some air conditioned comfort for a while! Apparently this ride is the biggest single investment that Mack have made to Europa Park. Look it was fun, but it ain’t no high-speed rollercoaster! There were a few other attractions I would have loved to have seen in Germany, such as the preview centre and the beer garden. Apparently they also have part of the original Berlin wall somewhere in this section too.

Next off to Ireland, which sadly lacked any rides for big kids, and was labelled as ‘children’s world.’ The park did think to put an Irish pub in this area, which was genius for all those parents who need some time out from screaming kids.

England was next, and let’s be honest, with the Brexit debacle, was probably a good decision from Mack not to make a big deal out of this area. It was pretty lame, with the owners deciding that the themes best representing England would be Paddington, soccer, and Adidas. It was only a tiny step up from Ireland in terms of kiddy rides, although Terror indulged us as Katrin, her friend and I jumped aboard the Crazy taxi (spinning) ride.

If we had more time I probably would have also gone on the London bus ride and the Go Karts. If Brexit goes ahead, I wonder if this land will get replaced by another country? I vote for Ukraine, for some healthy competition with Russia!

It seemed like the back of the park was all about the youngest visitors, as we next approached a land called Grimm’s enchanted forest. This was the first area not themed around a country, which seemed really odd. While it was beautiful to look at the recreations of the tales from the Brothers Grimm, there wasn’t really anything to do. I think you could have made some excellent rides around these tales, or even included some of the set design in the Germany area of the park instead.

The area next door was another country-free zone, known as Minimoys Kingdom. We thought it could have been combined as part of Ireland with its lush green surroundings, but was actually themed around the ‘Arthur’ movies. We were going to skip this area too, but a quick look at the map told us that there was a roller coaster of a reasonable size in the kingdom, so we went to investigate.

We were all really glad to have taken the detour, as the Arthur rollercoaster was good fun despite not being able to understand much of the spoken word in the soundtrack. Katrin was on hand to interpret however. This was only the second inverted-spinning dark ride coaster (suspended) I had been on (after Dragons at Motiongate Dubai), and they are pretty good value for the whole family. You are surrounded by animatronics, film and some 4D effects while spinning around the indoor/outdoor track. The theming of the Kingdom was pretty cute, with oversized plants and insects making you feel nice and small. I also liked the conveyor belt ride loading system, as it seemed to keep the very long line moving at a steady rate. We would have dearly loved another turn, but time was quickly getting away from us.

Thankfully Adventureland didn’t take up any time, because there wasn’t really anything to do there except take a boat ride across the lake…pass…The top end of the park really felt like a bit of a mish mash. There were three areas not themed around countries, that seemed like somebody had paid lots of money for naming rights, without keeping in character with the park. With that rant over, we went back to actual Europe, and visited Austria.

In this area, we first headed to Europa’s very first rollercoaster which opened in 1984, Alpenexpress.

More recently, a VR experience was added to this mine train style experience, so we lined up in a separate area to test out the new and improved version, paying a bit of extra money for the opportunity. Like the Can Can (when it finally opens), you can actually choose to ride the normal version, or the VR version, and there are two separate load areas for each.

You could choose from 5 different movies to watch through the VR headset, and I selected Schellen-Ursli. I don’t know what that means, but was expecting a journey through the Alps. I’m fairly sure my headset was a dud, because once the ride started moving, all I could see was white and some blurry stuff. I appreciate that Mack have tried to keep this historic coaster current, but the VR addition was strictly a gimmick and did not add anything to the experience. Katrin and Terror both chose the Paddington movie and they weren’t raving about that one either. Through most of the queue system, you could see the log flume next door, and I had some regrets that we didn’t go on that instead.

After Austria, Katrin and her friend had to depart, so Terror and I headed off to Spain to see the last country on our list. There seemed to be a couple of fun little carnival style rides in Spain, but we decided to skip them and return to Iceland to re-ride some of our favourites. While we did a lot of walking during the second half of the day, the back end of the park was not nearly as fun, with very few thrill rides.

Europa was one of only a handful of parks I have visited where I have left without experiencing a huge amount of their shows and attractions. We missed out on so much stuff, and I was bummed knowing that Europa was so far away from Australia, and so it would be unlikely that I would return. I desperately would have loved to come back the following day, but Terror and I had earlier agreed that we needed a fun-park free day to explore the natural beauty of Germany, and so we were heading to the Black Forest area. Don’t get me wrong, our day of swimming on the lake and hiking in the woods was bloody perfect, but I could see Silver Star sticking out on our way to Black Forest, and I was annoyed with myself that we had not organised the trip to allow an extra 2 days in the area. If I win the lotto, I will be back to splurge at one of the 5 onsite hotels at Europa, spending 3 days at the park to make sure I get to see everything. Public service announcement: One day is nowhere near enough time!

I appreciated that there was a lot of construction going on at Europa. From what I can tell, Mack are continually investing in their park as opposed to letting it decay like most of the Australian parks. They seem to open new attractions regularly, and really have done a brilliant job. It is a hard call to say whether I loved Europa more than Cedar Point Ohio, but damn it is a close race. Cedar Point had more of the amazing thrill rides, but there was something really special about Europa. I loved the mixture of languages, cultures and foods, and the place is oozing with atmosphere and adventure. The attention to detail was superb, which was also apparent in one of the most useful park maps I have encountered.

We strolled back to the car park with aching feet, and spent a long time wandering around trying to remember where we had parked the car in the massive lot. As we walked under the Silver Star track, I felt kind of empty that I was leaving with unfinished business at Europa.